Food Review: Vegemite (★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆)

I have a soft spot for the Olsen twins.  

Scoff if you must, but when you are indoctrinated by something from birth it gets pretty hard to shake.

Full House, 

It Takes Two, 

Two of a Kind,

And too many straight-to-DVD (I mean, VHS) movies to even count...

If you take away Disney, the Olsen twins made up pretty much the rest of my elementary years.

There was one particular movie that the sister and I used to watch over and over.  It featured the twins thrust into the witness protection program after stumbling upon a jewelry heist.  And where were they sent? Well, to Australia, of course.

The home of Vegemite.

Ever since that movie, I've always been intrigued by this brownish substance.  As a kid it looked kind of sticky, chewy, a little like burnt caramel...as far as I was concerned it was delicious.  

Problem, though.  I had never tried it.  

You know that phenomenon?  The one when you get introduced to something you've never heard of and from that day onward you see it everywhere?

That definitely happened here.

I'd see Vegemite in movies, television, and any interview with an Australian inevitably ended up on this subject.

So I'm not sure what made me wait 12 years (!!!) before I actually broke down and tried it.

I recently found it at World Market, and even with the $9 price tag for 7.5 measly ounces, I decided the time had come.

I couldn't wait to try it.

Now before I reveal my verdict, please know I did not go into this blindly.

I no longer anticipated a sweet, gooey substance.

I knew that growing up with Vegemite is the only way one can really appreciate it.

I knew that it was more of a salty, meaty paste than the caramely goop it appeared to be.

I even knew that most Americans are immediately put off by it.

What I didn't expect was that I was about to experience the single most revolting tastebud moment of. my. life.

Meaty and salty don't even begin to describe the flavors permeating from this nastiness.  Picture 6 bouillon cubes and 4 bottles of soy sauce packed into each tiny taste.  Insurmountably salty...and that doesn't even include the basic car oil, yeast, meat flavors going on.

I took the smallest "tester" bite ever and my tongue tingled...TINGLED...from the stuff.  

But like the good blogger/reviewer I am, I took another bite.  1st bites are for discovery and 2nd bites are confirmation.

Yup, nothing new here.  Tingle, tingle, tingle.  

See that picture up there  ^ ?  That's my two bites worth.  If that amount can pack such a punch, I can't even fathom how someone could enjoy...let alone survive...an entire piece of toast covered in Vegemite.

They say hindsight is 20/20.  And you know what?  Even with the 20/20, I'd still do it again.  

Life is about experiences and if I've already tasted the worst thing in the world at 25, then guess what?  Only deliciousness awaits me.

Plus, I had to find out for myself just what those Olsen girls were talking about.

Anybody intrigued?  Cause I've got a "like new" $9 jar sitting at home!  

Me and the fam-bam being outdoorsy. 

Word Count: 532.
Welp, it is my normal Thursday posting day.  Old habits die hard.
Plus half my vacation posse left today.  What else was I supposed to do with all this extra time?

Food Review: Nutella & Biscoff (★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆)

Dear Nutella,

     We didn’t hit it off right away.  I remember the first time we met. 

It was Paris, 2003.   

     I walked into the breakfast room and there you were.  I tried you on dry baguettes and later on a street vendor crepe.  I’m not sure why, maybe it just wasn’t our time, but I didn’t feel the connection that seemed to so immediately engulf everyone else. 

     Flash to the present, it was just me and a Belgian waffle on a casual night in. For some reason, I felt compelled to invite you to our little party.

Wham bang, hello.

      You are like the fun-loving, chocolate hazelnut version of peanut butter.  I want you on graham crackers, on pancakes, on ice cream.

Sometimes love is gradual.  But that love is strong.   

Pst…hey, Biscoff,

Don’t tell Nutella, but you are like my dream come true. 

     When we met in the grocery store on my way to a picnic, I knew something magical had occurred.  A pulverized spread of one of my favorite cookies?! Sigh. 

     You are spicy, cinnamony, gingery goodness.  And you get along with all my friends! Apple, celery, pancake, spoon. 

Sure you have more tang than Nutella, but I kinda like that.

Really like that.  

Me blogging and board gaming...Vacation multi-tasking at its finest.

Word Count: 206 :D  Yeah, me!!

Food Review: Ovomaltine (★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆)

Kayaking Day!  Beautiful.  Bar on the beach.  Brother-in-law, sister, me.

-----

I don't know about you, but when a friend comes to stay with me from out of town and they bring a thank you gift I want with all my heart to love it.  

But life can be cruel...

Enter Ovomaltine.  

Supposedly the best chocolate drink mix in Europe.  At least that what my friend and his wife from Germany claimed.

I was excited to try it. 

Let's be honest.  As an American, it seemed like a blatant rip off of Ovaltine.

But European's do a lot of things better...including anything chocolate so I was game.  

If they wanted to rip us off and make our sorry attempt for powdered malt and chocolate taste glorious then, please--and take my purse and passport to boot. 

Sadly, though…I’m going to need my stuff back.

Grainy,

Gravelly,

Unchocolately.

And I tried everything. 

Using milk instead of water.

Blending it in our power machine…you know, the one from Costco that can pulverize bricks?

Adding yogurt.

Nothing helped. 

For once, in the chocolate department, I can say we have them beat.

Europe, don’t be sad. 

So you lost in this race of powdered drinks. 

But in the grand scheme of things what is the greater accomplishment?

A kiddie drink?

Or Nutella…

     Biscoff…

     And Crème Brulee?

Just something to think about.

---

Word Count: 216.  

Boom.  That's progress people.

  

Food Review: Taro Mochi (★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆)

Brother-in-law and sister enjoying the view.

So this week, I'm actually on vacation.  In Lake Tahoe to be exact.  

Okay, so maybe not in Lake Tahoe.  More like near Lake Tahoe. I can walk down the trail about a quarter mile to it if I want to jump in...and I will, tomorrow.  When I go kayaking!!!!

I've been wanting to do a week of food reviews and figured this would be as good a time as any.  

I love food.  Hence, I have a baking blog.  I enjoy the cooking part, but mostly I enjoy the eating.  I'm also not afraid to try new things.  I think this is the one area in my life where I think I'm pretty fearless.  

Rollercoasters?  No, thank you.  Tried them.  And still, no thank you.

Doing pretty much anything new or unfamiliar fills me with butterflies.

But food.

I get super excited before trying something new.  

It could be the thing my tastebuds never-knew-they-always-wanted, for all I know! 

Now that I've talked myself up, I feel the need for disclaimer.  I'm excited if it's an actual food somebody eats on a regular basis or enjoys.  No, I will not eat that worm you just dug up out of the ground.  Gross, k?

So this week, I will be posting a new review everyday about something interesting that I've tried.  My hope is that you will go out and try something new yourself.  If I can try a roller coaster that one time when I was nine, then you can take a spoonful of Vegemite (oh, it's coming).  

And my personal goal? To keep it under 200 words. Gulp.  

I'm on vacation people!  But can I do it?  That is the question..

-----

My first experience with mochi was at a sample booth at Trader Joe’s.  They were giving out green tea mochi ice cream (ice cream encased in mochi).  And, I have to say I am not a fan. 

I thought maybe it was the green tea flavor that was off putting, but I tried the more people friendly “strawberry” and still felt the same.  It was very bland like something was missing.  I couldn’t put my finger on it, but it’s not something I would waste my precious calories on again.

In case you are unfamiliar, mochi is a Japanese gummy substance made out of glutinous rice that has been pounded into a paste.  It has a very subdued flavor, which makes it easy to add to all kinds of dishes.  

My second introduction to mochi was much better.  Self serve frozen yogurt is huge here in California.  And small pieces of mochi are almost always offered as toppings.  

I tried some and to my surprise I really liked it.  The mochi was an accent to the yogurt instead of the main attraction.  As far as flavor balance goes, I thought this was a much better arrangement. 

And it’s like having gummy bears that don’t freeze in your ice cream.

Hear that?
They DON’T freeze.

The six year old girl in me freaked out when I made this discovery.  

So when I saw these mochi cookies at World Market, I thought to myself “Hey, I like Taro (a starchy plant that tastes kinda like a sugar cookie) and mochi has been good to me lately.  Why not?”

All I can say is that these were not gross.
Actually, I couldn't stop saying it.
“Well, they’re not gross.”
“Hey sister, try this.  It may not be the best thing you’ve ever tried, but you won’t be able to tell me that it’s gross.”

These cookies (or whatever they were) were probably one of the most intriguing things I've ever eaten.  Soft gumminess on the outside, pasty gooeyness on the inside. 

One moment my tastebuds were like "oh, yum" and the next "oh, um hey.  uh, no offense, but that was kinda weird."

It took me awhile to figure out how to even describe them, but this is what I came up with:

"A gummy sugar cookie biscuit.  The inside maintains at once the texture of sugar paste and yet also the graininess of a crushed up cookie."

How this is possible?  Please don't ask me.  I haven't the faintest clue.   

I wouldn't recommend you go out and buy these, but I wouldn't caution you to steer clear either.  If you have an appetite for adventure (get it? get it?) then sure head down to your nearest import store and pick some up.

If you do, please please please please please let me know what kind of dance your tastebuds did.

So now the moment of truth.

How did I do?

Word Count: 482

I. Have. A. Problem.

Eh, so sue me.

Tomorrow you get -282 words.  Have fun looking at pictures!