Thursday, September 20, 2012

Food Review: Vegemite (★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆)

I have a soft spot for the Olsen twins.  

Scoff if you must, but when you are indoctrinated by something from birth it gets pretty hard to shake.

Full House, 
It Takes Two, 
Two of a Kind,
And too many straight-to-DVD (I mean, VHS) movies to even count...

If you take away Disney, the Olsen twins made up pretty much the rest of my elementary years.

There was one particular movie that the sister and I used to watch over and over.  It featured the twins thrust into the witness protection program after stumbling upon a jewelry heist.  And where were they sent? Well, to Australia, of course.

The home of Vegemite.

Ever since that movie, I've always been intrigued by this brownish substance.  As a kid it looked kind of sticky, chewy, a little like burnt far as I was concerned it was delicious.  

Problem, though.  I had never tried it.  
You know that phenomenon?  The one when you get introduced to something you've never heard of and from that day onward you see it everywhere?

That definitely happened here.

I'd see Vegemite in movies, television, and any interview with an Australian inevitably ended up on this subject.

So I'm not sure what made me wait 12 years (!!!) before I actually broke down and tried it.

I recently found it at World Market, and even with the $9 price tag for 7.5 measly ounces, I decided the time had come.

I couldn't wait to try it.
Now before I reveal my verdict, please know I did not go into this blindly.

I no longer anticipated a sweet, gooey substance.

I knew that growing up with Vegemite is the only way one can really appreciate it.
I knew that it was more of a salty, meaty paste than the caramely goop it appeared to be.
I even knew that most Americans are immediately put off by it.

What I didn't expect was that I was about to experience the single most revolting tastebud moment of. my. life.

Meaty and salty don't even begin to describe the flavors permeating from this nastiness.  Picture 6 bouillon cubes and 4 bottles of soy sauce packed into each tiny taste.  Insurmountably salty...and that doesn't even include the basic car oil, yeast, meat flavors going on.

I took the smallest "tester" bite ever and my tongue tingled...TINGLED...from the stuff.  

But like the good blogger/reviewer I am, I took another bite.  1st bites are for discovery and 2nd bites are confirmation.

Yup, nothing new here.  Tingle, tingle, tingle.  

See that picture up there  ^ ?  That's my two bites worth.  If that amount can pack such a punch, I can't even fathom how someone could enjoy...let alone entire piece of toast covered in Vegemite.

They say hindsight is 20/20.  And you know what?  Even with the 20/20, I'd still do it again.  

Life is about experiences and if I've already tasted the worst thing in the world at 25, then guess what?  Only deliciousness awaits me.

Plus, I had to find out for myself just what those Olsen girls were talking about.

Anybody intrigued?  Cause I've got a "like new" $9 jar sitting at home!  

Me and the fam-bam being outdoorsy. 
Word Count: 532.
Welp, it is my normal Thursday posting day.  Old habits die hard.
Plus half my vacation posse left today.  What else was I supposed to do with all this extra time?

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