Thursday, June 20, 2013

The "Fake" Neiman Marcus Chocolate Chip Cookie (★ ★ ★ ★ ☆)

This recipe is Ron Swanson approved.

Yes, that Ron Swanson.

Ron (bleeping) Swanson.
Pawnee's Parks and Recreation Director.
Wood worker.
Bacon Aficionado.

The man's man.

This may seem weird, but I find him incredibly sexy...mustache and all.  

And I HATE mustaches.  The whole hipster "trend" is horrifying to me.  
But there is just something about Ron's that is undeniably masculine.  
(I kinda like it).  Ew, I did not just say that! 

He's the kind of guy that makes you want to shoot some whiskey, puff a cigar, or pack a shotgun.


Ahhhhh, and in a bow tie no less.

Yes, this cookie would impress even him. 
Of course, he didn't tell me that personally.

But it doesn't matter that I never sent him a lovingly wrapped package of freshly baked cookies. 

Or that he didn't call me to tell me how I am the woman solely responsible for introducing him to his fourth favorite food.

I know - in my heart - he'd accept it.   Because this is a man's cookie.

Extremely Hearty.
Perfectly Delicious.
Plain and gets the job done.  

And it gets it done well. 
There is quite the urban legend behind these cookies. 

It goes: a woman tried these at the Neiman Marcus café and fell so madly in love with them that she offered to pay for the recipe.
However, she was told that it would cost her “two-fifty.”
Unbeknownst to her, they meant $250, not the modest $2.50 she had anticipated. 
Neiman Marcus was none too sympathic to her story, so in a fit of revenge she mass emailed the world so they could benefit from her $250 mistake.  Hell hath no fury, right?
But I imagine this would leave Ron Swanson quite unimpressed.

In fact, he’d be put off by this woman’s overly dramatic display of emotion....And well, frankly, her stupidity. 
He’d be much more approving of the real story behind my making these cookies. 
I implored my friends to pass along their most beloved chocolate chip recipes, and a one –Jimmy – responded in kind. He went so far as to say that this recipe was “his baby” and “the best dessert he has ever made.”
“The working class man’s cookie”
And there you have it.
The "Fake" Neiman Marcus Chocolate Chip Cookie
Graciously bestowed to me by Jimmy and to him through Ms. Kelene 

1 Cup (2 Sticks) of Butter (room temperature)
1 Cup Granulated Sugar
1 Cup Brown Sugar
2 Eggs
1 tsp. Vanilla
2.5 Cups of Quaker Rolled Oatmeal (before blending)
2 Cups Flour
1 tsp. Baking Powder
1 tsp. Baking Soda
1/2 tsp. Salt
2 Cups (12 oz.) Chocolate Chips
4 oz. of Grated Chocolate Bar

Preheat Oven to 350F Degrees
Bake for 12-14 minutes
Makes Approx. 24 Cookies (using a golfball sized ball of dough - preferred size)
                     40 Cookies (using a tablespoon sized ball of dough)
1) In a medium sized bowl, cream butter and both sugars together.  Mixture will be very thick.
2) Add eggs and vanilla.  Beat until just combined.
3) Measure out 2.5 cups of oatmeal.  (I recommend using Quarter Oats or a brand of oatmeal with a
    softer texture.  I used Trader Joe's brand and it never seemed to cook all the way in the dough).
    Blend to a fine powder.  You can use a food processor or what
    ever you have on hand. (pssst. I used my coffee grinder.)
4) In a small bowl, mix blended oatmeal, flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.  Stir to combine.
5) Add the flour mixture to the sugar mixture.  Beat to combine.
6) Add in chocolate chips.
7) Add in grated chocolate.  (I tried to use a cheese grater, but the chocolate kept melting in my hand.  I 
    ended up chopping the remaining pieces as finely as I could).
8) Roll dough into golfball-sized balls and place two inches apart onto a well greased sheet. (You can 
    make these smaller, but I found this to be the best size texture-wise and had the perfect balance of 
    crisp-to-chew-to chocolate gooeyness). Place in 350F Degree oven for 10-12 minutes. Tops will be 
    cooked, but not brown.  This dough cooks to a lighter color.  Leave on baking sheet for 2-5 mins to 
    cool, then place cookies on cooling rack. 
9) This dough does not need to be refrigerated overnight first.  It actually gets very hard in the fridge.  If 
    you do have leftover dough, just let it sit out on the counter for a few minutes before cooking again. 

Review: Are these the best chocolate chip cookies in the world?  I don’t know. 

But they are darn good.  And the dough is literally the best tasting dough I’ve ever had in a chocolate chip cookie.  The ground oatmeal gives them an UNBELIEVABLE flavor!
They are crispy on the outside and perfectly gooey in the middle. 
My only issue with them is that they lose their exquisite texture overnight.  These are definitely bake’em and eat’em cookies.  And you have to get the right oatmeal brand.  I used Trader Joe’s and even though I blended them to a pulp, I could still taste the hard, uncooked (microscopic, mind you) flecks of oatmeal.  Next time, I’ll use Quaker Oats and see if that solves my problem. 
Notice, how I said next time?  Meaning, I’ll make these again? 

Ya, that’s pretty rare. 
Actually, I’ve already made these twice in the past week. 
And if that doesn’t say something about these -  I don’t know what will. 
For the working man, woman, child,
And mustached Ron's of the world,
This is for you.

 These were featured June 2013:


  1. Funny post! Can't go wrong with good ol' chocolate chip cookies! :)

  2. This is one of our family's favorite chocolate chip cookie recipes because it's so different than a lot of the other recipes out there. YUM!!!

    1. I've never tried it before now. It's great! Thanks for stopping by!

  3. I love his character! I am with you on the hipster movement, I really don't get the appeal :) These look delicious!

  4. This recipe is definitely worth a try! Who doesn't like a big chocolate chip cookie! I do have a favorite recipe in my stash, but I am more than willing to try out a new one! Thanks for sharing.

    1. Ya, I don't think I've found the "best" of all time, but the flavor the oatmeal gives is amazing!!

  5. Chocolate chip cookies are my favorite cookies. These look so so good!

  6. Haha! This is a funny post! Plus amazing looking chocolate chip cookies! I will be trying these sometime soon!

    1. Thanks for stopping by Sarah! And for thinking it was funny! :)

  7. Too funny, Nat! I'm so going to try these ~ chocolate chip (and oatmeal) are my fav cookies!
    I'm visiting today at Sunday Scoop. I hope you get a chance to visit my blog, too. I'm co-hosting the DIY Showcase and would love for you to come by and link up!
    ~ Megin of VMG206
    Open Now! DIY Showcase ~ Come Link Up!

    1. Thanks Virginia! I'll be sure to visit and link up. Chocolate Chip and Oatmeal (freshly baked) are my favorite too! I don't like raisins though, so I always substitute with chocolate. :)

  8. Thanks for linking up to Sunday Social ~ Paula

  9. I love this recipe. Your post is so clever and funny. I really enjoyed reading. The mustache thing is an amazing phenom, right?
    Sherri @

    1. Thanks for the compliments, Sherri! I'm never sure who actually reads my posts as I tend to be kind of "wordy." :)

  10. I love this recipe. I don't do a lot of desserts but this is one that I will make over and over again. Thanks "once more time" for blogging about it Nat, it's too good for me to keep it as a secret, and I'm glad the word is out! :D

    1. Glad you approve of my synopsis of your favorite cookie!

  11. I am always looking for a good chocolate chip cookie recipe, and the oats have me intrigued! I need to give these a try :)

  12. Ha! They look wonderful. I've had this recipe for years but have never made it. I think I need to!

    1. Yes. I agree. It's time to break it out. They are so easy, what do you have to lose? :)

  13. This sounds and looks like THE perfect cookie recipe!
    I'd love to have you share this and/or any other recipe at Wednesday Extravaganza - A Foodie Link Party! Hope to see you there :)

  14. Thank you so much for linking-up at Pin It Monday Hop#14. We appreciate for taking the time to share your post with us. If you have extra time, please stop by and check what other Bloggers are sharing. See you

    Pursuit Of Functional Home

  15. New follower! Found you at the Bloglovin' party at The Best Blog Recipes!

  16. Nat,
    I make a slight variation of these cookies. I love them the day they're made, the day after and any day until they're gone. I found your post on Sweet and Savory Sunday.

    1. Thanks Anna! What do you do differently in your version?

  17. Oh, the infamous NM choc chip cookies. I've never tried these but I'm so picky about my chocolate chip cookies, that I tend to shy away from the unknown in terms of them. Yours, however, look so inviting and delicious! :) Thank you so much for linking up with me this week at Tasty Tuesdays! I’ve pinned this & shared it with my followers! Please be sure to stop back by the party and check out some of the other links!

    1. Well, if you have a recipe you love then stick with that. But maybe try substituting some of the flour for ground oatmeal. I'm telling you it does wonder for the flavor!

  18. Hey there! Here from the Blog Hop! Just wanted to let you know I'm following you via Bloglovin' and all your social networks! I also Iiked your Facebook page :o) Hope you'll get a chance to check me out!

    Blog url






    1. Thanks! I'll be sure to hop on over!

    2. I meant to tell you these cookies look absolutely delicious! By the way, thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment on my Pizzelle post and also for the follow back; appreciate it! Hope you have a wonderful Tuesday :o)


    3. No problem! And thanks for the sweet compliment!!

  19. I used to have this recipe! 'Wonder if I still do? Somewhere along the way, though, it was forgotten! Thank you! I'm so glad you hopped on board The Great Blog Train! -Marci @ Stone Cottage Adventures

  20. ANY recipe that is Ron Swanson approved get my two thumbs up. These look amazing- totally pinning them. Tanks for the great recipe AND the laugh!:)

    1. No, thank YOU! A fellow Ron Swanson appreciator is always nice to find. :)

  21. These look great! I love that they have a chocolate bar and oatmeal in them!

  22. Okay (deep breath)......HOW DID I MISS THIS POST?? I saw these cookies on link parties, FB, etc......Ron Effing Swanson is my unicorn! I love him; I love Parks & Rec.; I love the writers on Parks & Rec. I am SO glad they will be returning for another season. And these cookies look delish! I will make, bake and take pics of me eating these for the Fall premiere! It's on!!

    1. YEAH!! THANK YOU! It's like you get me. Ron Swanson is perfect. Please have a season premiere party! He is definitely worthy of one. :)

  23. Awesome cookies!!
    Thank you for visiting and commenting on my blog. I'm glad I have the chance now to check your blog. you have great things here, starting with these great cookies!!

    1. Thanks Winnie! I really like your blog as well. So many creative ideas. And treats!

  24. Replies
    1. Haha, this comment is awesome! Thanks for stopping by!

  25. I love these cookies!! The blended oatmeal is just awesome! I did change up the recipe and added Peanut butter AND peanut butter chips. So, that changed the name to PMS cookies!

    1. Oh wow, I LOVE Peanut Butter. That's a great idea. I've been thinking about these cookies lately. I'm planning to make a batch next week for some co-workers as cheap (but delicious) presents. :) Thanks for stopping by!