Food Review: Trader Joe's Extra Dark Chocolates (★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆)

The best part of vacations: (clockwise) PB S'more, Olive Oil Tasting, Magic Show, Largest Chocolate Covered Marshmallow Ever!, Ice Cream on the Lake

Well, today is my last day of vacation and, thus, the last day of Food Review Week.

It's okay.  Everybody together - aaaawwwwhhhhhh. :(

I know, I know.  

You'll still get your weekly Thursday dose though, so no need for the tears.

And since it's Friday...and everyone loves Friday...I thought I'd end on a happy note - chocolate.

Everybody together - yippee! hooray! this is the greatest day of my life!  

                                 (Okay who said that?  That is what we call an over-re-ac-tion).

Anywhoo, this may seem like a repeat of the famous Fair Trade 72% Dark Chocolate Review, but I assure you it is not.  

That was an out and out rave.

This is a compare and contrast.

See totally different!

So let's get down to the nitty gritty.  After finding the new chocolate bar love of my life at Trader Joe's, I was intrigued by all the other 70%-ish dark chocolate bars they offered.  

Not being able to bear the thought of "settling," I decided to take drastic measures.  

The mission: to try them all.  

A daunting task, but someone had to do it.  And once again, I did it for you.  

Geeze, I should get a medal or something.  You guys are so lucky to have me to do your dirty work.  

The Trader Joe's Players:

• 72% Fair Trade Organic Belgian Dark Chocolate
• 72% Cacao Dark Chocolate
• 73% Super Dark Organic Chocolate
• 72% Swiss Dark Chocolate

★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ 

2nd Place.  Let's get the known out of the way.  Delicious!  Wonderful!  Fantastic!  This is one of my top 5 favorite chocolate bars.  Flavors: Very Fruity.  Distinct notes of raspberry and apple.  And oh so smooth.

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★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ 

4th Place.  Maybe if I had tried this bar by itself I wouldn't have disliked it so much.  But compared to the others this was a huge step (or 20) down from the Fair Trade and Swiss bars.  I found this rather surprising considering the price difference was mere pennies and it carried the Trader Joe's label like every other bar I tested.  Flavors: Extremely bold. Coffee essence.
                                                                                 --

★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ 

3rd Place.  While a few steps up from the "red" bar, this was still difficult to enjoy after tasting my first and second place choices.  Maybe it's just a personal preference, but I like creamy and smooth, which this certainly was not. Flavors: Very earthy, dirt.  (No joke, I took a wine class. I know my flavor palate!) Hints of blueberry.  The texture was also unique - slightly chalky and grainy.  Not my first choice for a chocolate bar.
                                                                                  --

★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ 

1st Place.  Did I think I would be putting first place on anything other bar than the 72% Fair Trade?  Nope.  No way. How could I get so lucky as to score TWO mega awesome chocolate bars not only from the same store, but also the same generic brand?  Are you kidding me?!  This is crazy!  I think the Fair Trade is a better bar all around, but this Swiss bar knows my weaknesses.  Flavors: Hints of vanilla and custard.  Super creamy and completely smooth.  Way to win this girl over.  Plus it's gluten free and vegan...although, I'm guessing so are the rest of these bars.
                                                                                   --


Mission Accomplished.  

Exhaustion and the dwindling availability of abdominal real estate could not keep me down.
  
Seriously, guys.  Why are you still reading this when there are so many wonderful - and cheap - chocolate bars at your fingertips?

But before you go, a recap for all your shopping needs:

• Fair Trade: Raspberry Smooth - Yum 
• Red 72%: Bold - Yuck
• Organic: Dirt - Yuck
• Swiss: Vanilla Cream - Yum

Coming Soon:

I'm going to be introducing a new rating system starting next Thursday.  Each title will now feature a "star" rating from 1 to 5.  This way it will be easier to sort out the winners from the losers.  Courtesy of a suggestion from my dad.  See kids it pays to listen to your parents!

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ - Mayday, mayday.  Make this now or pay someone to do it if you are a baking hazard. 
★ ★ ★ ★ ☆  - Good stuff here.  Definitely worth a rebake. 
★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆  - Your average crowd pleaser.  Most items will have this rating. 
★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ -  Problems abound whether with ease or taste.  Repartee will be abundant. 
★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ -  The worst of the worst. I.E. Vegemite.  More wit. 

I will also be labeling each item with "1 Star" through "5 Star" key words so you can easily find what you need in my labels tab.  I also have a "Worth A Re-bake" label already in place that lists all my favs.

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Word Count: 742.  Sooooo, report length.  Eh, are you really surprised?

  

Face Off: Chocolate Frosting

I'm not sure what possesses me to do things like this.  Things like deciding to fix stew and a homemade apple pie in the same night...all by myself.  Inevitably, my family doesn't eat until 10pm.

We're Italian.  Eating can't wait for 10pm!   

But I do these things all the time.  

Lofty ideas take root and germinate in my head till I can think of nothing else.  And by the time I've gathered all of the needed supplies, clear visions of the utter joy and praises my baking escapades will surely bring to all those around me further fuel the fire--my crazy.

I always forget about "the last time."  

The last time I told myself to "remember this feeling"...the fat-man-sitting-on-my-chest one.  

The last time I ended up crying on a ladder in the shower breathing in chemical fumes because the entire bathroom - even the ceiling - needed to be cleaned.  

Or the last time I felt like punching people in the face because I was working my butt off in the kitchen while everyone else was watching TV...Wha? Why do I need to "ask" for help?   

The ability to suppress.  To forget.  It's a little gift life gives you.  A chance to move on, to do other stressful, stupid stuff.

Like I did for this post.

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Finding the best chocolate frosting is a noble goal...Whipping up six different recipes at the same time is an insane goal.  

Ice baths.  Endless dishes.  And sore arms for days.  

But I did it for you.

To settle this nonsense once and for all.  

Here are the contestants.  My raking, remarks, and recipes follow:

Raking: 6 of 6

Remarks: This is an interesting frosting.  It is reminiscent of a marshmallow.  Super sweet and has the texture of sticky meringue.  I actually am a HUGE fan of this frosting, but not in chocolate form.  Normally, it is a nice and interesting complement to the cupcake, but something just doesn't translate here.  

Recipe(s):

Chocolate 7 Minute Frosting

Basic 7 Minute Frosting Recipe

Ranking: 5 of 6

Remarks: This frosting was a ton of work...requiring three separate mixtures and waiting for things to cool. Not feeling the love here. This was definitely the most spreadable of the bunch, but it had a very strong butter flavor, which if you've read my Best Frosting Ever entry, you'll already know I'm not a fan of.  

Recipe: Our Best Bites: Chocolate Frosting

Ranking: 4 of 6 (My Dad's Fav)

Remarks: Probably the fastest of all the recipes to complete.  It was sweet and the powder sugar flavor was very evident.  It had a nice, thick, and smooth texture.  I found I had to add more milk than was called for.  It could've been because I made only 1/3 of the recipe, but it was almost like fudge and difficult to spread.  My dad mentioned that he thought this frosting was more on the milk chocolate side of the spectrum.  He loves a good buttercream. 

Recipe: Rich Chocolate Buttercream

--RUNNER UP--

Ranking: 3 of 6 (Brother-in-Law's Fav)

Remarks: This frosting is muy delicioso!  It's extremely similar to the Old Fashioned Chocolate Frosting (My fav, below).  Essentially, the only difference between the two is that this recipe uses powdered sugar instead of dissolved granulated sugar.  Powder sugar isn't my favorite flavor in a frosting, but in this recipe it is pretty subdued.  This one also held up much better after being refrigerated than the Old Fashioned one.  I'm sure it had to do with the sugars.  It hurt me to make this #3 on the list because it is just SO good, but someone has to make the final call and my ruling is that granulated sugar wins.  The queen has spoken!

Recipe: Anne's Perfect Chocolate Frosting

1 pkg (6oz) semisweet chocolate pieces

1/2 cup light cream

1 cup butter

2 1/2 cups unsifted confectioners' sugar

In medium-sized saucepan, combine chocolate pieces, cream and butter; stir over medium heat until smooth. Remove from heat. With whisk, blend in 2 1/2 cups confectioners' sugar. In bowl set over ice, beat until frosting holds its shape.

--RUNNER UP--
Ranking: 2 of 6 (My Fav)

Ranking: Oh my gracious.  This frosting is heaven.  It's not too sweet and a perfect mix of whipped cream and fudge.  How it achieves the balance of light and chocolatey goodness is beyond me.  The reason this baby couldn't take the prize for first?  It is time CONSUMING.  It took me 40 minutes to complete.  Ice bath, cooling, whipping, clean up....you name it.  Not sure the exorbitant amount of time is worth it--especially when the Chocolate Ganache (coming next) is almost as good.  As a side note, if you don't intend to use this frosting right away, it gets a little grainy because of the granulated sugar.  My dad told me he preferred Anne's Perfect Chocolate Frosting because of this.  It's really a preference thing when it comes down to choosing which of these two recipes to use.

Recipe: Old Fashioned Chocolate Frosting

--WINNER--

Ranking:  1 of 6  (Bestie's Fav, My Mom's Fav)

Remarks:  This is fantastically fluffy and had the purest chocolate flavor out of all the frostings I made.  It's not too sweet, but it's oh so rich.  My dad commented on the nice semi sweet/bitterness flavor.   And what puts it over the edge for top billing is that it is SUPER easy to make.  Only two ingredients.  After you finish cooking the frosting on the stove, you must actually get it cold for it to get fluffy/whipped.  The recipe says room temp, but I didn't find that to be the case.  And the cherry on top:  it says you can store at room temp!  Absolutely, awesome because frostings are never the same once they've been refrigerated.   

Recipe: Chocolate Ganache

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Recap:

Chocolate Seven Minute Frosting: Skip.
Our Best Bites: Chocolate Frosting: Way too much work, not enough love.

Rich Chocolate Buttercream: Basically your typical buttercream.

Anne's Perfect Chocolate Cake Frosting: Powder Sugar.  So good.  Lots of work.

Old Fashioned Chocolate Frosting: Granulated Sugar.  So good.  Lots of work.

Chocolate Ganache: Two Ingredients.  Rich chocolate taste.  Winner, winner chicken dinner.

This probably isn't the most definitive list out there, but I like to tell myself it is.  Because then all this hard work actually meant something.  

And I can't afford to have any more "ideas" for awhile.