The "Fake" Neiman Marcus Chocolate Chip Cookie (★ ★ ★ ★ ☆)

This recipe is Ron Swanson approved.

Yes, that Ron Swanson.

Ron (bleeping) Swanson.

Pawnee's Parks and Recreation Director.

Wood worker.

Hunter.

Bacon Aficionado.

The man's man.

This may seem weird, but I find him incredibly sexy...mustache and all.  

And I HATE mustaches.  The whole hipster "trend" is horrifying to me.  

But there is just something about Ron's that is undeniably masculine.  

(I kinda like it).  Ew, I did not just say that! 

He's the kind of guy that makes you want to shoot some whiskey, puff a cigar, or pack a shotgun.

                                       

Ahhhhh, and in a bow tie no less.

Yes, this cookie would impress even him. 

Of course, he didn't tell me that personally.

But it doesn't matter that I never sent him a lovingly wrapped package of freshly baked cookies. 

Or that he didn't call me to tell me how I am the woman solely responsible for introducing him to his fourth favorite food.

I know - in my heart - he'd accept it.   Because this is a man's cookie.

Un-Fancy.

Extremely Hearty.

Perfectly Delicious.

Plain and simple...it gets the job done.  

And it gets it done well. 

There is quite the urban legend behind these cookies. 

It goes: a woman tried these at the Neiman Marcus café and fell so madly in love with them that she offered to pay for the recipe.

However, she was told that it would cost her “two-fifty.”
Unbeknownst to her, they meant $250, not the modest $2.50 she had anticipated. 

Neiman Marcus was none too sympathic to her story, so in a fit of revenge she mass emailed the world so they could benefit from her $250 mistake.  Hell hath no fury, right?

But I imagine this would leave Ron Swanson quite unimpressed.

In fact, he’d be put off by this woman’s overly dramatic display of emotion....And well, frankly, her stupidity. 

He’d be much more approving of the real story behind my making these cookies. 

I implored my friends to pass along their most beloved chocolate chip recipes, and a one –Jimmy – responded in kind. He went so far as to say that this recipe was “his baby” and “the best dessert he has ever made.”

“The working class man’s cookie”

And there you have it.

The "Fake" Neiman Marcus Chocolate Chip Cookie
Graciously bestowed to me by Jimmy and to him through Ms. Kelene 

1 Cup (2 Sticks) of Butter (room temperature)
1 Cup Granulated Sugar
1 Cup Brown Sugar
2 Eggs
1 tsp. Vanilla
2.5 Cups of Quaker Rolled Oatmeal (before blending)
2 Cups Flour
1 tsp. Baking Powder
1 tsp. Baking Soda
1/2 tsp. Salt
2 Cups (12 oz.) Chocolate Chips
4 oz. of Grated Chocolate Bar

Preheat Oven to 350F Degrees
Bake for 12-14 minutes
Makes Approx. 24 Cookies (using a golfball sized ball of dough - preferred size)
                     40 Cookies (using a tablespoon sized ball of dough)

1) In a medium sized bowl, cream butter and both sugars together.  Mixture will be very thick.
2) Add eggs and vanilla.  Beat until just combined.

3) Measure out 2.5 cups of oatmeal.  (I recommend using Quarter Oats or a brand of oatmeal with a
    softer texture.  I used Trader Joe's brand and it never seemed to cook all the way in the dough).
    Blend to a fine powder.  You can use a food processor or what
    ever you have on hand. (pssst. I used my coffee grinder.)
4) In a small bowl, mix blended oatmeal, flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.  Stir to combine.
5) Add the flour mixture to the sugar mixture.  Beat to combine.
6) Add in chocolate chips.

7) Add in grated chocolate.  (I tried to use a cheese grater, but the chocolate kept melting in my hand.  I 

    ended up chopping the remaining pieces as finely as I could).

8) Roll dough into golfball-sized balls and place two inches apart onto a well greased sheet. (You can 

    make these smaller, but I found this to be the best size texture-wise and had the perfect balance of 

    crisp-to-chew-to chocolate gooeyness). Place in 350F Degree oven for 10-12 minutes. Tops will be 

    cooked, but not brown.  This dough cooks to a lighter color.  Leave on baking sheet for 2-5 mins to 

    cool, then place cookies on cooling rack. 

9) This dough does not need to be refrigerated overnight first.  It actually gets very hard in the fridge.  If 

    you do have leftover dough, just let it sit out on the counter for a few minutes before cooking again. 

-----

Review: Are these the best chocolate chip cookies in the world?  I don’t know. 

But they are darn good.  And the dough is literally the best tasting dough I’ve ever had in a chocolate chip cookie.  The ground oatmeal gives them an UNBELIEVABLE flavor!

They are crispy on the outside and perfectly gooey in the middle. 

My only issue with them is that they lose their exquisite texture overnight.  These are definitely bake’em and eat’em cookies.  And you have to get the right oatmeal brand.  I used Trader Joe’s and even though I blended them to a pulp, I could still taste the hard, uncooked (microscopic, mind you) flecks of oatmeal.  Next time, I’ll use Quaker Oats and see if that solves my problem. 

Notice, how I said next time?  Meaning, I’ll make these again? 

Ya, that’s pretty rare. 
Actually, I’ve already made these twice in the past week. 
And if that doesn’t say something about these -  I don’t know what will. 

For the working man, woman, child,

And mustached Ron's of the world,

This is for you.

 These were featured June 2013:

"Birthday Cake" Seven Layer Bars (★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆)

No, this picture isn't dangerous.

Okay, ...it is a little bit.

Okay, I kind of freaked out that the whole thing would tumble over and my lovely light box would burst into flames.

But how else was I supposed to create such a "subtle" foreshadowing?
Anything for art, right?

---------

So besides the November-to-December holiday montage, February is my favorite time of year.

No, not because it's Valentines Day.

Although, I do like the whole "chocolate" binge aspect.

And I'm sure the whole "love" aspect is swell too, but I've had a total of two valentines dates throughout my entire existence so the ratio of Dates on V-day to Not Dates on V-day is none too inspiring.

And it's not even because February is the only month that never reaches thirty days...although, I have to admit that is pretty cool.

Nope those aren't the reasons.

February is my favorite time of year...
...BECAUSE IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!

And this year, I'm closer to thirty than I've ever been.  

So I'm celebrating

...all month long. 

Because I deserve it.

To help you join in on all the festivity and help you get to know me a little better, I thought it'd be fun to answer a few questions about myself.  

The more you know, the more you care, right?       RIGHT?!         right?

Don't blame me for these questions. 

If this is what Google says the world wants to know, then who I am to argue?

I mean, it's Google.  

So without further ado...  (be glad I whittled these down from my original "twenty-six" question idea!)

1. What is your favorite time of the day? 

    Pretty much the parts of the day where my stomach starts to grumble.  Because then it's "sanctioned"  

    chow time!

2. What are you absolutely best at?

    Answering questions about myself!  I'm the best in the world...in the universe!!

3.  If you were a book, which book would you be?

    A book with lots of short chapters.  I hate chapters that go on a hundred pages strong.

4.  Do you know how many pieces of clothing you own?

    The amount where a "one in, one out" rule has become a necessary evil.   

5.  Which song would you rather wake up to in the morning?

     Let's get real, it's Freddie Mercury's..."We are the Champions."  Try not getting pumped to that. 

6.  Aside from Ricky Martin, which artist do you listen to the most?  

     Well since I listen to Ricky Martin, um...., never....I'd have to say every artist in the world.  Even 

     Rebecca Black.  Because even I know that "yesterday was Thursday, today is Friday" and we be 

     "partyin' partyin' yeah!"

7.  If you could have dinner with anyone, who would you choose?

     I think I'm going to have to go with Derek Wills on this one.  *Sigh* ...that salt and pepper hair  

     ...that British accent  ...that seductive-one-moment/rip-you-a-new-one-the-next bad boy quality.  I 

     am taken.

8.  What 3 things would you not take with you to an island?

     Really? Most unproductive question. Ever. But obviously I wouldn't bring 

     1) My new Smash DVD's.  Only because there is no electricity...unless this is "The Island" - from 

         Lost.  Then I'd be A-okay. 

     2) Any of the plants from my backyard.  Because, in my imagination, this island is full of trees and

         tropical flowers so my plants would be redundant and outshone in comparison. 

     3) My cat.  As much as I love him, he'd drive me crazy while I was trying to build a "Robinson 

         Family" worthy treehouse and get an even tan. 

9.  What would you do if you found a wallet and there was no ID in it?

     Bury it.  Honesty prevents me from taking someone's money.  But if I can't have it then neither can 

     you!

10. How different would your life be if you were to live in Africa?

      Pretty different.

Since we're totally close now - I opened up so much! - I feel we can appreciate what happened in my kitchen this past week even more.

Seven Layer Bars.
Birthday Style.

And I'm not talking your normal "seven-layers-actually-translates-to-seven-ingredients" bars - I'm talking

Count em', Seven...


1 - Golden Oreos
2 - Funfetti Cake Batter
3 - Marshmallows
4 - White Chocolate
5 - Semi-sweet Chocolate
6 - Coconut
7 - Sprinkles


....Layers.

Sticky Sweetness.

Birthday Cake Seven Layer Bars

Inspired by The Domestic Rebel

• 1 Cup of Golden Oreos, Crushed with Cream Removed
• 3/4 Cup Butter (1 1/2 Sticks), Divided
• 1 Box Funfetti Cake Mix
• 1 Egg
• 3/4 Cup Marshmallows
• 1/2 Cup White Chocolate Chips
• 1/2 Cup Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips
• 1 Cup Flaked Coconut
• 1 - 14 oz Can of Sweetened Condensed Milk
• 1/3 Cup Multicolored Sprinkles

Needed a 9x13in pan

Preheat oven to 350F Degrees

Makes Approx. 20 Bars

1) Gather all the ingredients together.  These bars are easy, but there are a few steps because of all the
    different layers.

2) Separate Oreo cookies from the creams.  I bought the Birthday Cake variety, but once you remove 

    the cream there isn't much difference between these and the standard Golden.  

3) Finely crush the Oreo cookies until you get a cups worth of crumbs.  This is about 3/4 the package.  

    Start with a meat tenderizer or a Ziploc bag and your hand to make the crumbs.  If you need them 

    finer place into a food processor or, if you are lazy like me, a cleaned coffee grinder. 

4) Place 1/2 stick of butter (1/4 cup) into the bottom of a 9x13in pan.  Let it melt in the oven.  

5) Add Oreo crumbs on top of the melted butter and pat down gently.

6) In a medium bowl, combine funfetti cake mix, egg, and rest of the butter (melted).  

7) Take pieces of batter, flatten them in your hand and add to oreo cookie base.  Make sure the entire 

    bottom layer is covered.  Add these gently as you don't want to disrupt the crumb crust.

8) Bake in the oven for 10 minutes.

9) Carefully remove slightly baked cake/oreo layers and add marshmallows.

10) Add white chocolate chips, semi-sweet chocolate chips, and cocount. 

11) Pour can of sweetened condensed milk over the entire thing.  Make sure everything gets covered. If    

      you can do with less than a can then stop there.  The less you have to use the better.  It's really, 

      very sweet.

12) Disperse sprinkles across the top. 

13) Bake for 15-20 minutes, until the top begins to get golden and bubbly.  Remove from oven and 

      cool completely on a cooling rack before cutting into pieces.  

Happy Birthday to me!

----------------------

Oh my goodness!  Thanks so much for viewing.  These were featured during The Back For Seconds Link Social on March 5, 2013 and Blooms Designs Link Party on March 6, 2013.  Click the icons to check it out!!!

 

Also featured on:

Double Chocolate Cereal Cookies (★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆)

I don't know that I've ever related to a cookie more.

You see for the past month, I've been doing two people's jobs.  

Worn two (though similar) hats...

Tried to maintain the quality of my work along with the person's that I am covering for...

Dropping one to pick up the other...

And what does it result in?

Adequate performance.

Nothing crumbling to pieces.

Nothing amazingly praiseworthy.

Okay, enough of the business-y jargon,

Bascially, two people doing two jobs are better than one. 

And when thinking of how to describe these beauties, I couldn't help but notice the parallel.

These cookies, while salivating-ly gorgeous (am I right?!?), were trying too hard to be too many things to too many people.

And by no one's fault but my own.

It all started with a looming leftover box of Chex cereal from my Muddy Buddy Cookies.

Stupid Safeway, only had the ginormous box.

No one likes Chex that much.  

...it's not chocolate  

...there are no marshmallows  

...it's not chocolate 

...I didn't get the honey coated kind.  

...it's not...well, you know.              

[chocolate] couldn't help myself

Anyway, I bake too much to just throw stuff away.

Waste not, want not. 

So this remaining box of cereal just sat....for months...in my baking bin.

Until one fateful morning, when this morsel appeared in my inbox Chocolate Covered Cheerios.

How good do those sound????  And then the lightbulb  - *bling*

Chocolate covered Chex.

In a cookie.

A White Chocolate cookie.

With Chocolate Chips.

Ya, ya.  That sounds about right.

Only, it wasn't "about right."

It was "about" okay.

I was a little overzealous in my Chex adding.

Like, I just went for it.  

Waste not, want not remember?

And then my "white chocolate" batter just plain didn't work.

It should have dawned on me that this might be an issue when I couldn't find a recipe for white chocolate batter...anywhere...ever.  

I decided to melt white chocolate chips and add them to the batter.  

Easy, right?  

Only there is this interesting thing about chocolate chips - they don't like to be melted and runny...they like to be solid and together.  

So instead of white chocolate cookie dough, I had cookie dough with the tiniest, most minuscule white chocolate "flecks" splattered throughout.

I mean, these weren't terrible.

...But neither am I at juggling two jobs.

It's just, these weren't amazing...in fact, they were, dare I say, slightly disappointing.

...and well, I'm guessing you can fill in how I feel about the "job" part in this equation. 

So even though I'm about to spend a good chunk of time typing out the recipe below...I can't, in good conscience, rave and recommend making these.  At least, not without some tweaks.  

Like maybe only putting a cup of crunchy cereal...you know, instead of three.

And if that doesn't appeal to you - there are pictures.

Double Chocolate Cereal Cookies
[i.e. White Chocolate Cookie Dough, Chocolate Drizzled Chex, White and Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips]
adapted and inspired by The Better Crumb & Cookies and Cups

• 1 Cup Chex Cereal
• 1 1/2 Cup Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips (Saving 1/2 Cup for later)
• 2 1/2 Cups Flour
• 1 tsp Salt
• 1 tsp Baking Soda
• 12 oz Bag White Chocolate Chips (Saving 1/2 Cup for later)
• 1 Cup Butter
• 1/2 Cup Packed Brown Sugar
• 2 Eggs
• 1 tsp Vanilla

Preheat Oven to 325F Degrees
Cook Time: 8-12 minutes

Makes Approximately 20 Cookies

How to Make Chocolate Drizzle
1) Melt 1 Cup of Chocolate Chips in a microwave safe bowl, or a double boiler.  Let cool to almost
    room temperature. (The chocolate will be very hot and may burn you or melt the plastic bag we are
    going to place it in).
2) Once cooled, place melted chocolate into a ziploc bag.
TIP: I like to flip the bag inside out, pile the chocolate on the "inside" part of the bag, then flip it back
         right-ways in.
3) Just slip your hand into the middle of the bag while inside-out, cradle the chocolate with your hand
    and carefully pull the sides of the bag around it until the chocolate is now on the inside.  I do this to
    help keep the chocolate in one general area instead of sloppily spooned all over the bag.
4) Press all of the chocolate into one corner, twisting the top of the bag until a little "triangle" of
    chocolate is formed and packed.  Cut the tip of the corner with some scissors.  The smaller the
    opening the smaller the drizzle lines.
[NOTE]: After making these cookies, I found this "drizzle" step to be obsolete as the Chex just gets
               crumbled all to heck in the batter.  I'd skip this and save a good chunk of time.  Crushed
               Chex with white and semi-sweet chocolate chips is "chocolate covered" enough for me.  If  
               however, you want to take the time to hand dip each and every one...then more power to
               you.  Or, you can throw the Chex into a bowl with the melted chocolate and get them
               covered that way.  I recommend either of these options to the "drizzle."

5) If continuing on with the Chex drizzle: Lay out Chex flat on a baking sheet lined with parchment
    paper.  Drizzle chocolate over the tops.  Place in the fridge until chocolate sets and is firm to the
    touch.
6) In the meantime, you can start making the batter.  In a medium sized bowl, mix together flour, salt
    baking soda. Stir and set aside.
7) In a microwave safe bowl or double boiler melt white chocolate (set aside 1/2 cup of the chips for
    later). Let melted chocolate cool to almost room temperature. (We will be adding the butter next and
    we don't want it to melt).
8) Add cooled (but still melted) white chocolate to a medium sized bowl.  Add butter, cut into cubes.
    (This recipe doesn't call for softened butter so in order for it to mix well, it needs to be cut to a more
    manageable size).  Beat until combined and smooth.

9)   Add brown sugar, and combine.  

10) Next beat in the eggs, one at a time.

11) Add vanilla.  Next, add dry flour mixture a little bit at a time until thoroughly combined.

12) Here is where you add the Chex, and remaining 1/2 of white and semi-sweet chocolate chips that 

      you set aside.  I suggest adding the Chex 1st if you'd like them to be in smaller pieces, and 2nd if 

      you'd like them to be a little larger.  I added my 1st so I still had to add the chocolate chips.  By 

      the time I was done adding and mixing, I couldn't even see the Chex pieces anymore.  

13) Ideally, any batter will be chilled overnight, but if you don't have time it's not required here.  Place 

      heaping teaspoonfuls on a greased baking sheet and cook until "just done" - about 8-12 minutes. 

      Slightly golden and puffed, but not thoroughly set.  They will continue to cook on the baking sheet.  

      Leave on the sheet for 5 minutes before moving to a cooling rack 

TIP: If you want to make these larger, you can.  I did for these pictures - and I liked them better that 

        way.  You will just have to adjust the time accordingly.  Also, because of the Chex, these cookies 

        don't spread well in baking, so you want to slightly flatten them out before baking - especially the 

        larger cookies.

Sure these "goodie goodies" didn't quite live up to their expectations,

But, in this case, I have to say:

Some cookies

Are better than none cookies at all.

Gingersnap Magic Cookie Bars (★ ★ ★ ★ ☆)

Why don't you go ahead and settle in, grab your morning coffee,  because I want to tell you a little story.

A little story called "Why My House Isn't Safe For Magic Cookie Bars: Or Anything With Copious Amounts of Sugar."

So the title's a little excessive.
But it's my story.
And I think it's perfect.

I honestly contemplated changing the names in this because my family might kill me, but where's the fun in that?

Plus, after reading about Person 1, Person 2, Person 1 again, then Person 3...you're just going to get all confusl'd.

So since I'm going there, let's just lay it all out right now.

Mom,
          Dad,
                  Bestie

Prepare to be famous.

Brother - You are safe.  You don't like coconut.

So I'm baking Monday night, pretty much the usj.

Nothing too interesting there.  Except that everyone was home.  [Dun, dun, dun, duuuuuuuuun].
I'm used to having the house to myself on baking nights.  Just me, an iPod, and an electric mixer.

See when you are alone there are baking pros and cons.

The Cons.

• You are lonely

That's it.

The Pros.

• You are lonely so you can focus and do your best baking.
• You are lonely so you get to listen to your music as loud as you want (and dance around while belting out Mariah Carey Christmas songs into a wooden spoon.  Not that I do that...just the "option" is there).
• You are alone so you can tweak any recipe to your heart's content.
• You are alone so you can taste test something fresh from the oven without swarms of "sugar deprived" eyes glaring back at you.  

Three hungry people, one blogger.
There's bound to be conflicts of interest.

Bloggers have a different mindset.
We don't bake to eat.
Well, ultimately we do, but not before our desserts have paid their dues.
Prepping, styling, photo shoots, etc.

Much to the chagrin of my family members.

---

So back to the story.  I take the bars from the oven.  Not two minutes after I settle down to watch a Christmas movie, do I hear the terrifying sound of a knife slicing into melted chocolate and toasted coconut shreds.

Bakers can totally hear that kind of stuff. 

Now, I'm not against sharing.  I understand I have infused the house with an irresistable aroma. But I worked hard on those cookie bars.  The idea.  The shopping.  The baking.  The documenting.  After all is said and done every post costs me about 8 hours of free time...so I'm none too thrilled by the sound of my hard work about to be mutilated at the hand of someone other than me.

Me: "Nope." 

Dad: "You serious?"

Me: "Yep."

Dad: [Insert crazy pout.  Like I just told him I think going to college is a waste of time.]

Sure he's my dad.  He's only sacrificed everything for me.  But I still like to have the final say in what happens to my baked goods...and when.  Call it my controlling "vice," but I'm not ready to give it up. 

Twenty minutes later, after the cookie bars had cooled the "proper" amount of time, it was time to slice and share.  But only a taste, because these babies still had work to do.

Mom and Bestie were beside themselves and promptly consumed their share.

But Dad, nope.  He was good.  The moment had past.  

On his terms, or no terms.  Like Father, Like Daughter.  

Suddenly, an even bigger dilemma than I could have ever predicted arose - There was one piece and two willing participants.  

I mean the obvious, reasonable thing to do would be to share, right?

And that's what happened.

Until my Mom convinced Bestie to refrigerate the "precious" morsel because it would "taste better."  I walked into this:

Mom: "I'm so sorry.  I ate the whole piece.  I couldn't stop myself."

Bestie: [Insert Stunned Silence.  Cue welling of tears.]

Mom: "When Natalie goes to bed, I'll cut you another one."

Bestie: "Wait.  You really ate the whole thing?"

ME: "Excuuuse me?"

Mom: "No, I'm just kidding. I only moved it to the door."

Bestie: [Insert pent up chuckle].

ME: "...Uh, what was that about me going to sleep?"  

No joke, totally had a nightmare that I woke up to find 4 measly pieces.

Me: "What the heck happened?!"

Mom: "I'm so sorry.  They were just so good!"

Me: "I still had to take pictures!!"

I breathed a sigh of relief when I found the pan safe and sound, pristinely wrapped on the counter in the morning.  But did that stop me from hiding that dish in the tupperware cupboard?  

No.  

No, it did not.  

Gingersnap Magic Cookie Bars

adapted from Love from the Oven

1 Stick of Butter (1/2 Cup)

1 1/2 Cup Gingersnap Crumbs

1 - 14 oz. Can Sweetened Condensed Milk

2 Cups Nestle Holiday Chips (or 1 Cup Semi-Sweet and 1 Cup White)

1 Cup Chopped Walnuts (Pecans work well too)

1 1/3 Cup Flaked Coconut

Needed: 9 x 13in Pan

Preheat Oven to 325F Degrees

Cook for 25-35 Min

Makes Approx. 24 Bars

1) Crush gingersnaps into fine crumbs.  I used a meat tenderizer and a coffee grinder to finish up the 

    job.

2) Preheat oven to 325F Degrees.  Place cube of butter in 9 x 13in pan and place in oven to melt while 

    preheating.  Check every few minutes to make sure it is melting and not getting burned.

3) In the meantime, chop up a cup of nuts.

*Suggestion: I LOVE crust.  And I found this recipe to be a little on the thinner side.  What I would 

                      do next time is increase the butter to 1 1/2 cubes and double the cookie crumbs.  Or do 

                      1 Cup Gingersnaps, 1 Cup Graham Crackers.  Grahams are a lot sweeter and less spicy.  

4) Once butter is melted, remove from oven and place on heat safe surface.  Sprinkle cookie crumbs 

    evenly over the butter and gently pat down with the back of a spoon.  Make sure the entire bottom 

    surface is covered.

5) Pour can of condensed milk over the crust layer.

6) Next add 3/4 Cup Nuts, and 1 1/2 Cup Chocolate Chips (saving some for the very top layer).

7) Sprinkle the coconut evenly over the nuts and chocolate.  Pat down gently.

8) Top with remaining nuts and chocolate chips.

*Suggestion: I've made these before and "pre" toasted the coconut.  I wish I had done that this time.  I 

                       love the toasty smell and taste of the coconut after it's been baked for awhile. If you want 

                       to pre-toast the coconut, line a baking sheet with foil and spread the coconut thinly 

                       across.  At 350F, bake for no more than 5 mins.  Watch carefully that these do not burn.  

                       You want to see the edges of the flakes just beginning to darken. 

9) Bake for 25-35 minutes.  Top should be slightly browned.  Remove from oven and place on cooling 

    rack.  Allow to cool completely before cutting and serving. 

Do not think me cruel. After these pictures, my family had their fill.  

All Tuesday night, they ate to their hearts content.

Then came Wednesday. And I brought the rest to work.

So Bestie cried.  

Oh geeze. 

Cookie Dough Fudge: Take Two (★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆)

I live life on the edge.

I'm not talking about bungee jumping over a volcano in Chile,

Or painting the town red till four in the morning.

I live by a different edge.  

The kind of edge that forces you to audition for an opera class even though you've never sung opera in your life and you were, frankly, in the class by complete accident.  It's the kind of edge that compels you to try Vegemite because, hey, twenty-two million Aussies can't be wrong (right?), but it's actually the worst substance that will ever hit your tongue.

This is the edge that follows me through life.  Usually, it's only my fears that it makes me face.  But once in awhile it drives me to do something a little more troubling - dangerous. 

Like to eat cookie dough.

Raw.

Spoonfuls and spoonfuls of cookie dough.

We're talking drive to the store buy a roll of cookie dough and attack it with an eating utensil...or skip the middle-man and use your mouth before you even get it home...with never the nary intention of cooking it to the proper "anti-E. coli" temperature that every other sane human being seems to be so capable of.  

I love cookie dough.

It is - if I dare say - just as good as a freshly baked cookie and waayy better than an old one.

It's even worthy of this blog post I saw awhile back.  And while the intention was to familiarize the world with the blogger's newest cookie dough creation, it came off as one of the greatest odes to cookie dough I've read, ever.

Skim through it, if you have the time: To Cookie Dough, A Love Letter  (name change is all mine. :)

So being that it is on my Top 10 Foods Of All Time list, I felt obliged to remake the edible Cookie Dough Fudge I posted about a few weeks ago.

The concept was superb, but the powder sugar flavor was overwhelming.  I understand trying to make a fool proof recipe (I had to make this one twice), but if you are going to fashion something with cookie dough, don't you think it deserves the best the world has to offer?  The most delicious, legit fudge - candy thermometer or not?

I'll answer that.

It does.

--

And now a cookie dough fudge that is 50 times more delicious than that other stuff...

I present to you "Take Two."

Brace yourself, it's about to get crazy involved.  But I learned so many important lessons during this whole "fudge" experience that what kind of blogger/baker would I be if I didn't pass on my blood-sweat-and tears earned wisdom?

Cookie Dough Fudge

Inspired by Sally's Baking Addiction and Pink-Parsley 

Cookie Dough Fudge:

• Candy Thermometer 
• 1 3/4 cup sugar
• 3/4 cup brown sugar
• 1/2 heavy cream
• 1/4 cup milk
• 1 Tbsp corn syrup
• 3/4 tsp salt
• 2 Tbsp butter
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup flour
• Edible Cookie Dough
• 1 cup chocolate chips

Edible Cookie Dough:

• 1/3 cup butter, room temperature
• 1/4 cup sugar
• 1/4 cup brown sugar
• 1/2 tsp vanilla
• 1/8 tsp salt
• 2 Tbsp cream (or milk)
• 1/2 cup flour

*Side Note: After tasting the fudge, I highly suggest you double the Edible Cookie Dough recipe.  I can't vouch for how the end product tastes or holds up because I didn't do it, but, for me, the sweetness of the fudge overpowered the cookie dough flavor.  If I was to make this again, I would double the recipe.  

Fudge

1) In a medium/large sauce pan combine sugar, brown sugar, cream, milk, corn syrup, and salt.  Cook  

    over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until sugar mixture reaches 242F degrees (what is known as 

    the "soft ball stage").    

Tips for Tricky Things Like Fudge

*You'll want to have your candy thermometer attached to the side of your pan so it is constantly 

   immersed in the mixture, but not touching the bottom of the pan.

*Additionally, you will want to make sure that your candy thermometer is accurate as it can drift to read 

  higher or lower degrees over time.  You can test this by boiling a pot of water and seeing what 

  temperature the thermometer reads at a healthy consistant boil.  Since water boils at 212F, add or  

  subtract degrees as needed to get a correct reading.  (i.e. if your thermometer reads 192F at boiling 

  point...as mine did...you know you must add 20F to your reading.  Hence, the mixture will be done  

  when my candy thermometer reaches 222F).

Bad Fudge Batch #1.  Crusty and clumpy.  This was before it dawned on me to double check my thermometer reading and had grasped the concept of the "soft ball stage."  Learn from my mistakes!

*In addition to watching the temperature of the mixture, you can also determine if it has reached the 

  correct consistency by testing small amounts in a cup of cold water.  As the temperature is nearing 

  242F, take a small spoonful of the mixture and plop it into a cup of cold water (from the tap is fine).  If

  you are able to grab the mixture and roll it into a soft ball - kinda like play dough - you are set!  Take 

  the mixture off the stove.  If not, and the mixture is still too runny wait 30 sec - 1 min and try again. I  

  found this video that was a lifesaver!  Not only does it thoroughly depict what is and isn't softball 

  stage (at the 1:53 mark), it also has some plain good advice...which I gladly took. 

2) After mixture has reached soft-ball stage, remove from heat and place on cooling rack.  At this point 

    it is very important that you stop stirring until the mixture has cooled to about 110F degrees.  Add 

    the butter and let melt on top of sugar mixture, remembering not to stir.  Stirring after it has reached 

    242F will cause it to have a grainy texture.  

3) Once sugar/butter mixture has cooled to 110F (about an hour), add vanilla and flour.  With a hand 

    mixer beat at medium speed until ingredients are combined and mixture is thickened, approx 3 min.

4) Add Edible Cookie Dough to fudge and mix until just combined.  (The best time to make this 

    would be while the fudge is cooling).

5) Grease or spray an 8x8 inch baking dish and add cookie dough fudge.  Smooth with a spatula if 

    needed.  

6) Sprinkle chocolate chips on the top and lightly press them into the fudge.  The fudge will be still too 

    warm for the chocolate chips to be mixed into the fudge.  Trust me, I tried...hence the little chocolate 

    swirls in my pictures.  

7) Place fudge in the refrigerator for at least two hours or until set.  Cut into squares...or circles.  Eat.  

    Enjoy.  Savor.  

Good Batch #2.  Picture on left is sugar mixture at softball stage with butter melting on top.  

Fudge should be smooth not clumpy, picture on right.

Dough (Can be made while fudge mixture is cooling)

1) Cream butter, sugar, and brown sugar in a medium sized bowl.  Beat until fluffy.  

2) Thoroughly mix in the vanilla, salt, and milk.

3) Add flour to mixture and beat until just combined.  

You can keep your motorcycles and crazy rock and roll music. 

I've got safe-as-vanilla cookie dough!

I. Am. A. Grandma.  

Photography by Travis Howland Photography 

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